What do couples argue about the most

However, the differences can be summed up pretty simply. Either one partner wants more, or one partner wants less, or — in a worst-case scenario — both. Never have there been two people who had exactly the same standards in these areas. To one person, the other will always be a slob. To the slob, the other will be a control freak.

Accepting these differences and that there are limits to the amount that the other is capable of changing, is the secret of solving this conundrum. Or, on the other hand, arguing. False memory syndrome. Many arguments are not about the facts of what happened but how it is remembered. Everybody mythologises the past in order to put themselves in the best light. So when it comes down to trying to work out what went wrong when you had a disagreement, it becomes very hard, as each party uses imagination to supplement memory — indeed, create memory.

As therefore you can never quite agree on common facts, this is rich territory for conflict. Messing with the cooking. Blame addiction.

You might argue if you feel like your partner is prioritizing alone time over spending time with you. Or you might get upset if your partner spends more time with their friends than with you. Sometimes the ways you spend your time together can cause fights too; one person wants to watch the basketball game while the other person wants to get outside and go hiking. Or you might get upset that your partner is on their phone the entire time the two of you are hanging out together. Even after the honeymoon period wears off, couples still want to have passion in their relationship.

Or maybe you forget an anniversary one year. You might also have wildly different ideas of what cleanliness means. You might not be bothered by a few dirty dishes in the sink, whereas those same dishes might send your partner into conniptions. We all have tiny things about our partners that annoy the hell out of us. Sometimes they were even cute! You might argue about when to meet the parents , or how often to go visit. No one likes to own up to the jealous little monster that lurks within each of us.

Sometimes we have a reason for feeling jealous, like the fact that your partner is still really close with their ex, or that your partner cheated on you in the past.

I swear I saw you staring at her! You could even be jealous because you're non-monogamous , and that's also totally legitimate. Fighting is an unavoidable part of relationships, but it can be tricky to sort out when it crosses the line into deal-breaker.

If one partner changes the bedsheets one weekend, have the other partner do it the next. Or, if one spouse hates cleaning the bathroom, and the other hates sweeping the floor, split the chores that way! Another huge issue when it comes to chores and responsibilities is expectations and cleanliness standards.

Dirty dishes may not be a big deal for one spouse, but they could drive the other one crazy. Talk about what your shared space should look like, decide what work needs to be done to make that possible, and split the work among yourselves. Keep in mind that you and your spouse may not always be capable of getting all your chores done, especially if one of you is ill or extra busy at work.

When you need help, ask for it, and help your partner out when they need help, too! Healthy relationships are not about control and dominance, but power dynamics can shake up even the strongest couplings. Make time to do the things you want to do, then come to a compromise when you spend time with your spouse. Similarly, if your spouse has time to pursue their interests, they will be more likely to agree on what you should do with your time together.

Independence can benefit relationships, and you and your partner will have more to talk about if you pursue appropriate interests and activities outside of your marriage. Similarly, managing limited resources can create tension if couples disagree on how it should be done. As long as you conduct your arguments in a healthy, respectful way, you should be able to find solutions that work. If you need to move on from your marriage, the last thing you want to do is start another fight.

Instead of serving your spouse with divorce papers and taking them to court, consider mediation. Call us at or contact us online to learn more about your legal options today. When dividing assets, courts are not interested in who bought property or whose name is on the lease.